Questions of Understanding

Sometimes I wonder,

Are you just as confused as I am?

Does your brain twist and turn,

Molding itself into the cookie cutter shape of normalcy?

Do you feel all of your wires,

Tangled up tight,

Restraining, holding, choking?

Do you know what it looks like,

To hold a mirror up to other people

Hoping to see yourself?

Does your mind write rules,

Like complex lines of code,

Trying to make sense of a world that doesn’t fit?

Or do you not fit?

Constricting; straitjacket of expectations.

Misunderstanding of intentions. 

Fear, like noises in the dark.

Internal emptiness; a disconnect from reality.

Do your thoughts stampeded across your consciousness,

Kicking up dust as they go?

Do words storm across your atmosphere,

Like thunderclouds promising rain?

Or swarm, like locusts,

Invading your mind’s peace?

Can you create a mosaic from the fragments of a shattered soul?

Do you feel the urge, to flutter like a bird;

Or sway like an old rocking chair?

To stare into the great void of existence and forget that you’re there?

Do you ever feel pain that you don’t understand?

From words, from sound, from touch;

From the feelings like a balloon expanding in your entire being

Until you just can’t breathe.

The weight of being, 

Like an elephant on your chest;

Like walking through fog. 

Seeking understanding,

Like pinning the wind.

Do you know how it feels 

To walk through a life of wet concrete,

Dreaming of being a kite?

Do you know the feeling of sitting in a cocoon of silence,

Wrapping yourself in the pressure of a safe embrace?

To have a multitude of galaxies

Coalesced into one body,

One being, 

One consciousness.

And, at the end of it all,

Do you know that you’re not alone?